So Blessed!

I probably sound like a broken record, but I really do have the best husband ever. Ethan fell ill on Tuesday, which made me a nervous wreck. Not only is he the best husband, but he is the best Father ever. I am also grateful for a mother in law who will drop what she is doing to come rescue us when Ethan or I am sick. Did I mention she lives 3 hours away? She stayed with him the 1st day, and Daniel took time off to stay with him today. Why did I not stay home? As you may have read in a previous entry, work is crazy until September. I have not been getting my normal Wednesday off because there is 1-2 people on vacation at a time. I have not been a happy camper! It makes me extra grateful that I have a husband who is able & willing to take time off to care for our son. Not all dad's would do that. He really pulls his weight when it comes to parenting. I don't do anymore than he does. He's the best. That's all.

What do you do when you fall off the horse?

You get back on, right? I fell off a week ago. (The healthy horse) To make myself feel better, I have a list of reasons why:

-August 6th: We went to Great Falls, and went to the Fair, and I HAD to eat at Taco Treat!
-Steven & Jess's wedding was on August 7th, and things were just crazy busy...with lots of good food involved!
-We had a family birthday party for Ethan on August 8th. We had to eat cake with him!
-August 10th: Ethan came down with a stomach bug at daycare. I went into worry & stress mode and ate whatever. We had pizza, and ice cream that night. (Daniel & I did...the poor sickie got crackers and Popsicles.)

The good news is, I haven't missed working out! I'm still sitting at my 20 lbs lost. It is time for me to get going again! Even though I haven't gained, I still feel blah. I just feel so much better when I eat better!

Even better news: The bug Ethan had was very short-lived! Thank goodness!

Reason #345334 that Daniel is so awesome

We watched Carol's son yesterday while she was working. We stopped at Costco, and decided to let the boys share a hot dog for lunch. I cut it all up and put a little ketchup with it, and they went to town. Daniel just so happen to be wearing one of his many super hero shirts. Of all the shirts he could have worn, he wore his white one. He sat next to the boys while they ate lunch, and they noticed all the super hero's on his shirt. They got all excited, and started naming them off. As they named them- they wanted to point to them.
He got all snappy and said, "Don't get Ketchup on my shirt!" The eatery was busy, so I'm sure someone else witnessed what was going on. A grown, almost 30 year old man getting all upset with 2 toddlers that are trying to point out super hero's with their ketchup fingers. He was genuinely concerned they would stain his shirt. Funniest moment of the weekend, by far!!

...And he DOES understand!!!

I know it has been almost 4 months now, but I still am struggling with a lot of emotions. I don't often show it, but I still think about it a lot. It is probably no surprise that when I see pregnant people I get a bitter feeling inside. I still think at times that it should be ME waddling around.
I told Daniel quite a while ago, that it really was hurting me to see pregnant people. Almost to the point that I wanted to avoid church. I got the idea that he had NO IDEA what it felt like. I haven't brought it up in a least 2 months. Today, as we are making lunch together, he said: "It is kind of annoying to see all the pregnant people at church."
For those that don't know him well, he doesn't mean they are really annoying. They are doing nothing wrong. We don't dislike them at all. The opposite actually. We consider the pregnant people we know friends. What he meant was, "It bothers me too." He is just too macho to word it in a way that would make him look overly sensitive. It still seems silly that this has me all excited, but it is sooooo nice to know that I am not alone!! I do feel stupid for feeling bitter towards people who are pregnant, so it is so nice to know that I am not alone!

If anybody who is pregnant reads this: I hope you don't take offense. We really wish nothing but good for you and your growing family! Please don't feel bad for us. Our time will come.

Do you have picky eaters in the house?

If you have kids as picky as mine, you will appreciate this.

Trick-Veggie Brownies

3 ounces semisweet or bittersweet chocolate
1/2 cup carrot puree (after peeling and trimming the ends, steam for 10-12 minutes and then puree in a food processor for 2 minutes)
1/2 cup spinach puree (steam for about 30 seconds, then puree in a food processor for 2 minutes)
1/2 cup firmly packed light or dark brown sugar
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder2 tablespoons trans-fat-free soft tub margarine spread
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 large egg whites
3/4 cup oat flour or all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon saltNonstick cooking spray

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Coat an 8-inch square baking pan with cooking spray.Melt the chocolate in a double boiler over a very low flame.In a large bowl, combine the melted chocolate, vegetable purees, sugar, cocoa powder, margarine, and vanilla, and whisk until smooth and creamy, 1 to 2 minutes. Whisk in egg whites. Stir in the flour, baking powder, and salt with a wooden spoon.Pour the batter into the pan and bake 35 to 40 minutes. Cool completely in the pan before cutting.

Makes 12 brownies.


Sneaky Mac & Cheese

1/2 pound macaroni (preferably whole-wheat blend)
1 1/2 cups milk
1/4 to 1/2 cup White or Orange Puree (see below)
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups grated colby or cheddar cheese
2 large eggs (optional boost)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

Butter a 9-inch-square baking pan.
Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil over high heat.
Add the macaroni and cook according to the package directions, cooking until firm and slightly undercooked.
Drain and set aside.In a large bowl, whisk the milk with the White Puree and salt. (If using eggs, whisk them in with the milk mixture.)
Put half of the macaroni into the baking pan, and top with half the grated cheese.
Next, pour the rest of the macaroni into the pan, and then pour the milk mixture over the top.
Sprinkle the remaining cheese evenly over the top.
Bake the casserole 30 to 35 minutes, or until golden and bubbling. Serve hot.

Makes 4 to 6 servings.

White Puree:

2 cups cauliflower, cut into florets
2 small to medium zucchini, peeled and rough chopped
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
1 to 2 tablespoons water, if necessary

Instructions:
Steam cauliflower in a vegetable steamer over 2 inches of water in a tightly covered pot for about 10 to 12 minutes, or until very tender.
Alternatively, place cauliflower in a microwave-safe bowl, cover with water, and microwave on high for 8 to 10 minutes until very tender.
While waiting for the cauliflower to finish steaming, pulse the raw peeled zucchini with the lemon juice (no water at this point).
Drain the cooked cauliflower. Working in batches, if necessary, add the cauliflower to the pulsed zucchini in the bowl of the food processor with one tablespoon of water. Puree on high until smooth. Stop occasionally and scrape down the top and sides of the bowl. If needed, use the second tablespoon of water to make a smooth (but not wet) puree.The puree can be stored in the refrigerator for up to three days, or you can freeze 1/4 cup portions in sealed plastic bags or small plastic containers.

Makes 2 cups of puree.
Note: Double the recipe if you'd like to make extra puree to store for later use.

Orange Puree:

Ingredients:
1 medium sweet potato or yam, peeled and roughly chopped
3 medium to large carrots, peeled and sliced into thick chunks
2 to 3 tablespoons water

Instructions:
In a medium pot, cover carrots and sweet potatoes with cold water and boil for about 20 minutes until very tender. If the carrots aren't thoroughly cooked, they'll leave little telltale nuggets of vegetables (a gigantic no-no for the sneaky chef).

Drain the sweet potatoes and carrots and put them in the food processor with two tablespoons of water.
Puree on high until smooth; no pieces of carrots or sweet potatoes should remain.
Stop occasionally to push the contents from the top to the bottom.
If necessary, use the third tablespoon of water to make a smooth puree, but the less water the better.
The puree can be stored in the refrigerator for up to three days, or you can freeze 1/4 cup portions in sealed plastic bags or small plastic containers.
Makes 2 cups of puree.

Note: Double the recipe if you'd like to make extra puree to store for later use.

-Because frozen, store bought chicken nuggets gross me out a little...I will include this one:

Ingredients:
· skinless, boneless chicken breasts cut in 1-2 inch squares
· non-fat or low-fat buttermilk
· flour for dredging
· finely crushed corn flakes for dredging
· salt and pepper to taste
Preparation:
Preheat oven to 375.
Prepare three large bowls for dredging chicken - 1 with flour seasoned with salt and pepper, 1 with buttermilk, and 1 with crushed corn flakes.
Prepare baking pan by laying a sheet of foil over a cookie sheet; and then place a wire rack on top of the foil.
Season chicken with salt and cut into 1-2 inch pieces.
Dredge chicken pieces in flour.
Shake off excess flour and coat with buttermilk.
Next, generously coat chicken with corn flakes, and place on rack of your baking pan.
Bake nuggets for 15 minutes-or until done.

Flower Eggs

Ingredients:
· Eggs
· Bread
· Smart Balance or other low-fat buttery spread
· Low-fat cheese slices if desired
Preparation:
Preheat oven to 350.
Coat a muffin tin with buttery spread.
Use as many 'holes' as you need.
Push a piece of bread down into the muffin tin so that the corners stick up from the hole and it forms a cup to hold the egg.
Crack an egg into each bread flower.
Bake for 12-15 minutes.
These may be topped with a slice of low-fat cheese.

Ham or Turkey Roll-ups

Ingredients:
· Flour tortillas
· 8 oz. Low-fat cream cheese
· 1 package dry Ranch-style dressing mix
· Sliced deli ham or turkey
· Favorite mild salsa
Preparation:
Soften cream cheese and mix with 1/2 package dry ranch-style dressing mix. Spread cream cheese mixture on tortilla.
Lay a slice of deli ham on the tortilla and roll it up.
Cut into pinwheels.
Dip in your favorite salsa.

Success! Well, almost.

Since I have begun this "diet" adventure, I have discovered some healthy things that we ALL really enjoy. Even Daniel, who will usually avoid anything that is too "healthy." It must be working, so I thought I would share what we have been doing. I am almost to my -20 lb mark, and Daniel is over -20lb lost. (He doesn't have to try nearly as hard. I am eating well AND working out 6 times a week. sigh.)



Our new favorite lunch that is quick, and yummy:

-A 100 calorie sandwich thin (I usually toast mine.)
-A few thin slices of ham or turkey (about 60 -70 calories worth)
-Fresh baby spinach
-Sliced tomato
-thin layer of avocado

....And you have a healthy sandwich, minus the excess calories of your average sandwich! I eat one of those sandwiches almost every day for lunch. I make Daniel's a little more "manly," by adding a little light mayo, and extra avocado. If he is lucky he will occasionally get a slice or 2 of bacon. I hate bacon, so I buy the precooked stuff that you just throw in the microwave.

We also use those for:
burgers, egg white salad sandwiches, breakfast sandwiches, chicken salad sandwiches & grilled chicken sandwiches


When I am in a hurry for lunch:

-lean pockets! My favorite are: four cheese pizza, ham & cheddar, chicken spinach artichoke, & meatball. (I try not to go there more than 2x a week because of the sodium.)

-Happy Meal from Mcdonalds! That's right, I eat Mcdonalds and I can still lose weight. I even like it. It has definitely become a guilty pleasure. I have always liked Mcdonalds. (I just cut myself off of Big Macs:)) By eating a happy meal, I get the satisfaction of fast food without the excess guilt. I don't do it a lot, but when I do- I just make sure to eat extra healthy the rest of the day and I can still keep up with my 2lb a week weight loss.


For Dinner, we have been eating a lot of salads and grilled chicken. We have come to really like spinach chicken caesar salads. (Even Ethan!)
We also eat "normal" stuff as well. Unlike my diets before, I have come to realize that I need to be able to eat most anything for this to be a lifestyle change.
-When we have tacos, I eat just one, or make it into a salad. Before I ate 2 large ones, easily.
-When we have grilled cheese, I use VERY, VERY little butter and skip the high sodium soup. Or I will melt cheese on the 100 calorie thins.
-When we have spaghetti, I measure out my pasta and sauce to make sure it isn't super high in sodium, calories AND Carbs. I try to keep it under 350 calories
-If we have pizza, I get thin crust and eat 1 piece- or 2 if they are small. (after blotting the grease, of course.:))

Here are some dinner recipe ideas:

Summer Spinach Salad:

-fresh baby spinach
-fresh sliced strawberries
-red grapes
-diced cooked chicken (that has been cooked then refrigerated)
- small amount crushed nuts (optional)
-splash of dressing of your choice (raspberry vinaigrette & or any variety of light vinaigrette is good)

Lemon Pepper Chicken with Honey:

-Juice of 2 lemons
-1 TB Olive Oil
-1 TB coarsely ground black pepper
-1- Tsp honey
-2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts

In a shallow dish, combine lemon juice, oil, pepper, honey and salt to taste. Add chicken, turning to coat with marinade, Set aside for 10 min.
Preheat broiler
Broil chicken 4-5 min per side or until done
-Serve with steamed veggies or salad

237 Calories per chicken breast
10g fat
7g carbs
69 sodium
17mg calcium

Chicken-Apple Curry

1 TB canola oil (or less)
8 oz if chicken breast cut into strips
1 golden delicious apple, peeled and diced
1 small opnion chopped
1 TB curry powder
1 cup low sodium chicken broth

Heat oil in skillet over med-high heat. Saute chicken until cooked. Add salt and pepper to taste; remove chicken from pan.
Add apple and onion to skillet; cook until soft. Sprinkle with curry powder and cook for about 30 seconds.
Pour in chicken broth and cook until sauce thickens slightly. Add chicken back to skillet and warm through.

Serve with rice, veggies or fresh tomato with a splash of vinegar

Makes 2 servings
254 calories
10g fat
15 carbs
128 mg sodium
41 mg calcium



Snacks- they get me through the day! I will start with what I snack on the most:
-Sugar snap peas...and a lot of them! (I have always struggled with veggies- spinach, tomatoes, and snap peas are my main source of veggies. I'm trying!)
-FRUIT! (Strawberries, raspberries, grapes, watermelon-pretty much every fruit other than bananas. Too many calories for me to consider it a good fruit.)
-Kellogg's fiber max bars-the chocolate ones (120 calories each) When I need something quick, and that needs to fill me for 2 hrs- that is what I go for)
-90 calorie rice crispy treats
-100 calorie packs of brownie bites, or chocolate chip cookie bites
-50 calorie skinny cow fudgesicle minis (I avoid snacking in the evening if possible, but If I need something other than veggies or fruit that is what I go for)
-Old Fashion Twin Popsicles-Only 60 calories
-Carrot sticks & raw broccoli-there is a reason they are last on the list!

That's it for now! I am a calorie counter, unfortunately. www.calorieking.com has been an awesome resource!! When I get to my goal, I will stop couting calories, and just live healthy!!

And I must add...I drink A LOT of water. Everyday.

It's official. The crib has become a safety hazard.

We have been dragging our feet with the transition from the crib to a toddler bed. Ethan has shown us that NOW is the time to make the change. He was protesting sleep last night and ended up making a crash landing on the floor. We felt horrible, and are more than grateful he didn't hurt himself. It happened rather quickly. We have a video monitor, and we always keep an eye on him until he falls asleep. If we see that he is standing up, we go in there and lay him back down. Last night, we noticed that he stood up, so we went in there to lay him down. The minute we opened the door, we heard the crash that made my stomach drop.

Tonight will be his 1st night in his big boy bed. It is a little sad for me to see him growing up so fast. I'm not even ready for him to turn 2 next month, or to start potty training. I am often asked if he is potty trained or if we are potty training. The answer is NO. I am not in any hurry to have him potty trained. I don't think he is ready, and I know I'm not ready. We will start potty training when we are ready, rather than the "normal." I don't feel that there is any reason we should rush it.

Now that we are on the subject of Ethan, here are a few recent highlights:

* He still loves Lightening Mcqueen, but he now also loves "Buzz-Year" (Buzz Lightyear)
We're hoping he will love Lightening Mcqueen for a least a few more weeks, since his birthday party is centered around Lightening Mcqueen!

*He is getting really tan!!! I know, it is partly thanks to my genes, but it is worrying me. I am ALWAYS slathering on the SPF 50, and after 20 minutes- he is already getting tan. He is too young for the sun to start damaging his skin!!!

*We are teaching colors right now, and he is just too cute for words. He is doing really well! He can point out yellow, red, green and blue....most of the time. Other times, he just starts rattling off colors. He will be holding a blue crayon, and say "weh-yo!" He is getting it though!

*We are also working on numbers. He has a lot of counting books that he loves, and I will count things with him. Then, he tries to do it himself. He will point, and say "2, 3, 1, 2, 2, 3" That one may take a little longer!

Poor Me-(Just complaining!)

These past few weeks have been filled with things that have me throwing a pity party for myself. I despise the saying, "When it rains, it Pours." Maybe I hate it so much, because there is so much truth in it. I just don't understand me right now. I have so much to be grateful for, and things could be soooooooo much worse. I just can't help but be in a serious funk lately. Here is my list of things that are seriously getting me down:

1) HOSPITAL BILLS!!! I was in the hospital for a less amount of time than when I had Ethan, and I am paying practically the same amount. It seem so unfair. We are out about $1,800.00-out of pocket.

2) Changes in Daycare. Ethan has been with the same person since he was 11 weeks old. He has gone to a friend from church 3x a week, who has a son just about 1 yr older. He loves it there, and I have never been worried about him when he is there. I am not mad at her-just stressed that I am now starting over. She is going back to work, and doing what is best for her family. Not only is this the stress of finding a loving home/daycare for Ethan 3x a week, but an added expense.

3)Weight loss woes. (See previous blog entry.) BUT, I am getting to my goal. It just isn't fun getting there. I want pizza and chocolate. Don't even say it. "You can have all things in moderation." No, you can't. Not when you have problems with self control. I am one of those people that can't just have ONE piece of pizza or just ONE cookie. Maybe someday.

4)I have been in a spiritual funk as well. I can't really explain it. I am still going to church and doing the things I know are right, but I am slacking in other areas. I'm working on it.

4)Work. Work usually doesn't stress me out. I love my job. I love the benefits and most everyone that I work with. Summers are crazy with vacations, so I am not always getting my normal 4 day work week. Which means, less time with Ethan...and an extra day I have to find and pay for daycare for him.

5) I have had a lot of bitterness issues lately. I shouldn't be like this, but I feel like other people take their healthy pregnancies and children for granted. I feel that people just expect everything to go perfectly. Maybe I am just mad because I know it doesn't always go "right."
I also feel that some people take their family for granted. (I know, we all complain about family at some point.) I just wish our families were closer to be here for Ethan, etc. It is really hard not having family to lean on when they are a minimum of 3 hours away, so I go to my angry place when people complain about family. To give you an example: My Mom and sister & brother live in Oregon, my other sister lives in the Virgin Islands, and my Dad lives in Great Falls. Daniel's family is in Great Falls and Utah.
Ok, I will stop there. Rant over.

Now, I feel like I need to make a list of things I have to be grateful for. I know my life isn't that bad. We are blessed in more than I can list here.

1)I have an awesome, adorable, funny, healthy son. He brings more joy to my life than I can ever explain.

2)I have an awesome husband who loves me for who I am and whatever condition I am in. I never worry about our future. Call me naive, but I am confident that he will love me no matter what.

3) We have cars that get us where we need to go, and a house to call our own.

4)We have JOBS. Jobs that provide awesome benefits and awesome hours. Now I feel bad about listing work as a stress. I really do have a great job. I go home mad at
times, but who doesn't? I couldn't ask for better hours and benefits.

5)Awesome friends and family that we can always count on.

6)Health for all of us. We have had our trials, but we have overall good health. That is taken for granted WAY too often.
Ok, now that this list is longer, I feel like I can end there. I feel a little better now.