Poor Me-(Just complaining!)

These past few weeks have been filled with things that have me throwing a pity party for myself. I despise the saying, "When it rains, it Pours." Maybe I hate it so much, because there is so much truth in it. I just don't understand me right now. I have so much to be grateful for, and things could be soooooooo much worse. I just can't help but be in a serious funk lately. Here is my list of things that are seriously getting me down:

1) HOSPITAL BILLS!!! I was in the hospital for a less amount of time than when I had Ethan, and I am paying practically the same amount. It seem so unfair. We are out about $1,800.00-out of pocket.

2) Changes in Daycare. Ethan has been with the same person since he was 11 weeks old. He has gone to a friend from church 3x a week, who has a son just about 1 yr older. He loves it there, and I have never been worried about him when he is there. I am not mad at her-just stressed that I am now starting over. She is going back to work, and doing what is best for her family. Not only is this the stress of finding a loving home/daycare for Ethan 3x a week, but an added expense.

3)Weight loss woes. (See previous blog entry.) BUT, I am getting to my goal. It just isn't fun getting there. I want pizza and chocolate. Don't even say it. "You can have all things in moderation." No, you can't. Not when you have problems with self control. I am one of those people that can't just have ONE piece of pizza or just ONE cookie. Maybe someday.

4)I have been in a spiritual funk as well. I can't really explain it. I am still going to church and doing the things I know are right, but I am slacking in other areas. I'm working on it.

4)Work. Work usually doesn't stress me out. I love my job. I love the benefits and most everyone that I work with. Summers are crazy with vacations, so I am not always getting my normal 4 day work week. Which means, less time with Ethan...and an extra day I have to find and pay for daycare for him.

5) I have had a lot of bitterness issues lately. I shouldn't be like this, but I feel like other people take their healthy pregnancies and children for granted. I feel that people just expect everything to go perfectly. Maybe I am just mad because I know it doesn't always go "right."
I also feel that some people take their family for granted. (I know, we all complain about family at some point.) I just wish our families were closer to be here for Ethan, etc. It is really hard not having family to lean on when they are a minimum of 3 hours away, so I go to my angry place when people complain about family. To give you an example: My Mom and sister & brother live in Oregon, my other sister lives in the Virgin Islands, and my Dad lives in Great Falls. Daniel's family is in Great Falls and Utah.
Ok, I will stop there. Rant over.

Now, I feel like I need to make a list of things I have to be grateful for. I know my life isn't that bad. We are blessed in more than I can list here.

1)I have an awesome, adorable, funny, healthy son. He brings more joy to my life than I can ever explain.

2)I have an awesome husband who loves me for who I am and whatever condition I am in. I never worry about our future. Call me naive, but I am confident that he will love me no matter what.

3) We have cars that get us where we need to go, and a house to call our own.

4)We have JOBS. Jobs that provide awesome benefits and awesome hours. Now I feel bad about listing work as a stress. I really do have a great job. I go home mad at
times, but who doesn't? I couldn't ask for better hours and benefits.

5)Awesome friends and family that we can always count on.

6)Health for all of us. We have had our trials, but we have overall good health. That is taken for granted WAY too often.
Ok, now that this list is longer, I feel like I can end there. I feel a little better now.